06.07.25 media roundup
Notes on gender, self-optimization, spirituality, physical media, AIDS, decentering men, and more.
Welcome to this week’s installment of media I consumed instead of doomscrolling! This past week I got really sick which unfortunately resulted in far more screen time than I’d like to admit, not every week is perfect. I think not being where I want to be with my social media use 100% of the time but still showing up for myself by consuming these pieces that I share with you guys here is extremely valuable. A quote that lives in my head rent free is “perfection is the enemy of good” and this week it was particularly relevant. Hope you enjoy!
Podcast where Bella Freud interviews Lorde as she opens up about her relationship with her body, gender, fashion, music, and more.
Lorde has been such a constant throughout my life. I get the feeling that we have grown alongside each other, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. As she enters a new era of music, I see myself reflected in it. Listening to her past the lens of teenagehood makes me realize I am indeed getting older. How wonderful is that?
This podcast has come to be one of my absolute favorite ones, as I believe it truly encapsulates my adoration for fashion, and it breaks down culture into the elemental essence of life and identity through fashion. To me, clothing has always been a language of both individual and collective expression as the reflection of what is happening in society at large.
In this episode, I found it particularly insightful to listen to Lorde speak about her journey with gender and the role that fashion has played in it. What really stuck out to me was the fact that her journey with gender expression ended up solidifying her identity as a woman, which most certainly resonates with me. I think there is a very narrow and restricted space in which we get to express our femininity, especially through what has come to be known as the male gaze. Being able to redefine what embodying womanhood is to us, by expanding the pre-set binary boundaries of gender expression, can be quite liberating.
Beauty is pain: The increasing masochism of self-optimisation on Dazed Beauty
Article breaking down the correlation between self-care and pain as it highlights the perception of acceptance through endless optimization in a hyper-consumerist society.
As humans we continue to create a breach between ourselves and nature, distancing ourselves from the fact that we are part of one another, undeniably connected. We seem to think that because we continue to become more “advanced” every day that somehow makes us exempt from the cycles that make us human. We have been so incredibly brainwashed by capitalist ideals that we have not only gotten to the point where our lives revolve around the consumption of products, but to the point where we are treating ourselves as products as well.
Something that has come to my attention recently, as my TikTok FYP has reset into my Colombian algorithm, is the epidemic of teenagers (girls as young as 14) getting plastic surgery here. I think this is directly linked and rooted in choice feminism as it unfortunately reinforces these extremely harmful behaviors by reframing them as individual empowerment, ignoring the social, political, and cultural context that has led women to make those choices in the first place. I truly cannot even begin to fathom the levels of insecurity these poor girls must be feeling to take such drastic measures at such a young age.
I think we must remind ourselves of the fact that we are one with nature, we are not meant to be living through endless cycles of painful self-optimization, but rather through the natural cycles of life. We do not need to perpetually be improving ourselves, but rather allowing ourselves to just be. I think this song really encapsulates the point that I’m trying to make here, so if you haven’t heard it before, one, I’m jealous, and two, please give it a listen.
Substack post breaking down what it means to be an artist in late stage capitalism as well as reframing the options that are available for creatives to live from their art.
I remember when I was choosing what I wanted to study, I had given myself the deadline of 9th grade to know exactly what I wanted to do so that I was able to pick the right IB subjects for the best chance at getting into my dream university (this was a bit much looking back). I seemed to run into the issue that everything that felt interesting to me would leave me as an unemployed starving artist, or so I thought.
Those career orientation tests that they made you do in high school always showed up inconclusive for me for some reason, I truly only cared about philosophy, literature, and art class in school so I guess that could have been why. Either way, I did figure out what I wanted to do, which seemed to be the closest compromise between what I felt was my true calling and the fact that I need to be a self-sustaining functioning member of society. This landed me on the course that I am doing right now which is Fashion Business.
Looking back at my choices I don’t regret anything, I’m glad my course gives me a bit of leeway into an array of fields within the industry but a little part of me does wish I had gone with a more creative course. Having the space to create here has given me a significantly new perspective in regards to what it means to be a creative and how this can become a way for me to (at least partially) make a living. If you are currently finding yourself in a similar spot, I definitely recommend you give this piece a read.
In a Burning World, Witchcraft is on the Rise on Atmos
Essay outlining how the current cultural and political climate has resulted in a new wave of non-religious spirituality and how it has turned into a movement of resistance.
I was raised in a very Catholic household and attended an all-girls Catholic school for a large portion of my life. So much of my life revolved around religion for such a long time (and when I’m back home it feels like it still does), but from a very young age, it made absolutely zero sense to me. The realization that I couldn’t trick myself into believing everything that had been instilled into me my entire life was absolutely terrifying, but there were far too many inconsistencies for me to be able to justify trying to keep myself under this illusion.
When I was around thirteen I told my parents I would not go to church with them on Sundays anymore and that is kind of how I let them know I was no longer interested in religion. I know it was a disappointment and that this would create some friction with the rest of the family as well, but just seeing the state of the world was enough for me to discern that if their god existed, he was either not all good or not all powerful.
I have always had issues with organized religion as a whole, even with the ones outside the one that I was raised in. This didn’t mean I was completely closed off to the existence of a higher power, but it meant I just didn’t believe in the versions of it that had been created through institutions rooted in problematic agendas. I know this is a shared feeling with a great part of my generation, as I can see it in the people I am surrounded by as well as in the statistics in the article. I think being able to reclaim spirituality and connecting with it through nature is one of the things that gives me at least a sliver of hope for the future that we are creating.
Video essay dissecting the erosion of ownership rights and loss of physical media in the modern world particularly within digital spaces and what you can do about it.
A few weeks ago when the power outage in Spain and Portugal happened it really left my head spinning as I became hyper-aware of the fragility of the things that we “own” in the digital world. What would happen if the world went dark right now and didn’t go back to normal? How much of your property would get lost? I thought about the pictures on my phone, all of my Spotify playlists and the endless silly little notes that I keep on my phone.
This also made me realize that we have stopped actually owning things, which is the thesis of this video, and this sent me into a bit of a panic. I started thinking about the role of physical media in my life and how slowly but surely its prevalence has significantly diminished as the years go by. My DVD collection is comprised of exclusively childhood movies (I don’t even own a DVD player anymore). In terms of music I only own one CD which is my signed role model album (which I also cannot even play). I do not own a single photo album as there are only the ones that my mom and grandparents have which only have childhood images. Most of the publications I read are online as I am too broke to purchase all of them physically. My saving grace are my books as they are probably the one thing that I do own.
This video further breaks down the issues with the continually growing subscription based models as well as what ownership actually means in the digital world. Overall though, I think this was a wake up call for me to start trying to keep more physical media again.
The UK AIDS Quilt Comes Out of Storage, With Help From Some Friends on I-D
Article by Charlie Porter highlighting the significance and history of the UK AIDS memorial quilt as he shares the process through which he managed to put it out for display at the Tate Modern for a week during Pride month.
As pride month recently came to an end I think its extremely important to reflect and look past the shadow that pink washing has cast over all over the actual reasons why the LGBTQIA+ community needs this month in the first place. Yes of course Pride month is a celebration but we absolutely cannot forget that Pride is also a protest, and that the first pride was actually a riot.
I remember the first time that I heard of the AIDS quilt, I was probably around fifteen and I was truly devastated. I then started to learn more about the AIDS crisis and the more I learned the more heartbroken I was. I thought of the generations of queer people that were lost and I thought of the systemic homophobia that cost their lives. One book I think everyone should read if they want to learn more about it through a personal retelling is Holding the Man by Timothy Conigrave.
I think what really struck me about the quilt was how devastatingly large it is, somehow though, the sense of community and togetherness that it creates was equally as heartwarming. I think that’s partly why I have such a soft spot for fiber and textile art, the collectivity created not only through the meaning of the pieces but the historical tradition it holds creates another point of connection. I recently went to see the exhibition of the European Quilt Triennial in the Textile Museum of St. Gallen and this is the sentiment that stuck with me. Here are some of my favorite pieces:
Substack post highlighting the impossible standards that have been set for women in relation to their perception of men, particularly within the discourse of decentering them.
Women can never seem to win. If you do things for men you’re a pick me, but if you choose to actively decenter them, you’re still thinking too much of them. As someone who has truly changed so many aspects of my life in attempts to decenter men, I agree that unfortunately I am still forced to think too much about them.
I chose not to be friends with men as I truly do not see the need. I chose a female-dominated field partly because I want to interact with the least amount of straight cis men as possible. I am not interested in dating at all as I feel fulfilled enough with my friendships and my projects. I try to live my life away from men but they somehow always leech their way into my life, it’s inevitable when we exist under a patriarchal society.
I really enjoy Paris Mwendwa’s writing and this is no exception, it’s exhausting trying to keep up with these impossible standards that have been unfortunately set by other women but having these types of conversations are essential if we want to conduct actual change.
This is amazing, thank you so much for this, I feel productive just by reading this :) (side note, are you Colombian??)
Great article, I loved the part about physical media, I've spent the last 3 years collecting blu-rays, cd's records, and books. I don't have any digital subscriptions aside from to tangle news. It's so weird how we have given up all our ownership of physical things. I found the last section on de-centering men a little weird. I understand where you're coming from because a lot of men are just disgusting and horrible. That being said, we are just human beings as well. Doesn't this focus on pushing men away just deepen our divides rather than bring us together? On one hand I completely get it, once you've had so many bad experiences with men, who can blame you for giving up? I also have to acknowledge that I know many men end up acting how they do from hurt caused by women in their lives. In short, I don't know if de-centering men is the answer, not on a large scale. Does this make sense? I love the article though, it was just that one thing got me thinking!!