22 Comments
User's avatar
Janic's avatar

Wonderful reframing; thank you! I’ve also been thinking about something I read recently, how it’s much more conducive to think of new beginnings in springtime, when we’re in sync with what nature is doing, rather than in winter when living things go dormant for a time, slow down, or hibernate completely (January where I live is the depth of winter).

Mapu's avatar

Absolutely!!!!! I never grew up with the seasons but after moving to Europe I realized how impactful they truly are in our lives. Living seasonally has not only helped me through hard moments of the year but it has allowed me to get in touch with myself and with the natural rhythms of the world ❤️

Tonia's avatar

Yes! It is pretty backwards that we try to make changes in January, especially someone like myself who might be dealing with winter SAD 😅.

Zoë Ellen Joffe's avatar

I am the same person that I was yesterday, but I’m not the same one I was a year ago!!!!! WOW!!!!

Mapu's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

Tonia's avatar

I agree with this. I saw a post on Pinterest where someone said that every year they make fun resolutions. They would be things like trying all different pastas, visit every cave, etc. Just something obscure and unique. I haven’t thought of anything yet but I wanted to do something like that because it’s nice to also have some resolutions that aren’t just constant self improvement. Sometimes I need a break from trying to change myself.

Mapu's avatar

I found this post recently which I’m definitely drawing inspiration from

so maybe you’ll find some interesting things to do as well! https://open.substack.com/pub/madaling/p/52-offline-activities-for-every-week?r=28hu5h&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay

Tonia's avatar

I love this list. Thank you so much!

Dina Benamar's avatar

I really enjoyed this, it’s a beautiful and compassionate perspective, thank you for sharing it.

Learning to understand our own strengths, flaws, limits, and tendencies gives us a much clearer sense of what’s actually realistic for us, and where change might truly be helpful. I also love how this removes the pressure of having to set and “succeed at” a list of goals every January. Sometimes that pressure itself becomes the problem.

The version of us that sets resolutions is often not the same version of us that has to live with them, and that’s okay.

I actually explored something similar recently, but from a neuroscience angle: why resolutions so often fail, and how we can work with the brain instead of against it. If that’s interesting to anyone here, I shared it in my latest post 🤍

Mapu's avatar

Thank you for reading! Just went over to your publication and read your piece and I found it so informational. I think you basically broke down the biological aspects of what I was talking about, it’s great to have actual evidence behind these feelings.

I have adhd so this whole thing about expectations and goal oriented action is especially hard. I noticed that so many of the tips that you provided are big parts of the systems I’ve created for myself to actually create progress in my life :)

Thank you for your kind words and insightful input 🌟

Dina Benamar's avatar

Thank you so much for reading it and for this feedback, it really means a lot 🤍

I love that you’re already applying these ideas intuitively. It’s exactly why I wanted to ground this in biology rather than willpower. I really appreciate you sharing that.

Maria Reidell's avatar

Thank you for sharing this! Wonderful read, just what I needed this morning. ♡

Mapu's avatar

thank you for reading and I’m glad it resonated ❤️❤️❤️

Anusree's avatar

"Surrendering isn’t giving up, it’s actually the act of opening up—to both ourselves and the world around us—leaving our egos aside." - found me at the right time, thanks!

Mapu's avatar

I’m so glad :)

Aman Grewal's avatar

Thoroughly enjoy your perspective- very refreshing to see at this time of year!

Mapu's avatar

thank you!

Tsetsy's avatar

I love this. It makes the whole new‑year pressure feel less suffocating and more like something you can actually breathe through

Catherine Ordway's avatar

You write beautifully - I look forward to reading more as you navigate the world! 🌺😍

Hannah Reyes's avatar

Oh, wow. I haven’t really thought of it this way! No wonder I am struggling to write a list this year—I am exhausted from constantly trying to improve when I am perfectly “enough”.

Resolutions assume we’re starting from a place that needs improvement.

Absolutions assume we did the best we could with what we had.

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Jan 2
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Mapu's avatar

totally, I think large part of it is connected with the hustle culture that has been set in place for optimization rather than sustainability or well being